5 Lessons Learned in 2009

1. Never be afraid to tell someone you care about them.
Me and 'the ex' got back together after a 4 month split because I (unlike his pussy ass haha) wasn't afraid to say how I was feeling. It didn't work out... but I'll never regret giving it another chance. I'd be sitting here wondering and that's a much worse feeling than failure.

2. Never intentionally hurt someone. But if you accidentally hurt someone on the way... it's okay.
I've had to cut some people out of my life the past year. People who have/do mean a lot to me. At the end of the day, though, I have to protect myself first.

3. Don't worry so much about the things you can't control.
I'm future oriented. My resume speaks to the crazy amount of things I do... honestly, some of them purely for resume value. But I've learned not to worry so much about my future. If I do everything I possibly can now, why worry about what I can't control? This includes the job market when I graduate, the man I'm going to fall madly in love with... I'm leaving it to the fate. Good people find their way.

4. Take every opportunity given to you. And don't be afraid to ask for opportunities not listed.
Like I said, I'm super busy. But mostly that's because I never can say "no" to a good opportunity. With every thing comes a lesson, and I plan on learning them all. I've also learned it's okay to ask for help... whether it be a couple extra points on a test, asking someone to hook you up with their connections, or simply asking people to be your connection.

5. Different isn't bad.
My life has changed SO much SO many times over the past year. Each change has been difficult, but each change has made me stronger. And now... I think that's my favorite thing about myself.

5 EASY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS & 5 (okay, 6) GREAT NEW YEAR'S QUOTES

Be always at war with your vices,
at peace with your neighbors,
and let each new year find you a better man.
-Benjamin Franklin

1. Spend at least 20 minutes every day alone with no contact to the outside world (turn off phone, tv, internet...) and do something I enjoy... read, sketch, write.
Sometimes my life gets so hectic that when it's finally time for me to unwind, I do something incredibly unsatisfying (i.e. Watch TV until I fall asleep)

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
-Hamilton Wright Mabie

2. Take a Picture of Myself Every Day
This may sound super self-centered, but I think it's a great exercise. DailyBooth, introduced to me by the lovely Grace Ellen, allows such a service for free. It's amazing to see your progression over the course of a year, and a snapshot is a great way to keep a photo journal as well. Checking out the 'live feed' is kind of inspiring. Plus, is there a better way to amp up self acceptance than this?!

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past.
Let it go, for it was imperfect,
and thank God that it can go.
-Brooks Atkinson

3. Try 1 new thing every day.
Unless you have a lot of money, this has got to stay simple. Maybe it will be a new food, a new outfit, a new lipstick color, a new vocab word, a new website, a new song. I think I'm going to try to keep track of this one in my journal. What did a little extra culture ever hurt anyone, right?

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary,

moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover.
I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.
-Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary

4. Take more deep breaths.

My road rage is OUT OF CONTROL. I've recently noticed that if I just take a moment, slow down, and breathe (or belt out whatever song happens to be at full blast in my car) I feel significantly less of a need to lay on my horn. I'm hoping that I can apply this to more of my life and slow down a little... What's the rush?!

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this:
To rise above the little things.
-John Burroughs

5. Be Silly
My first love taught me one important thing: how to act like a little kid. Take in beauty, sing at the top of my lungs, giggle, enjoy. Life is precious, and if I'm always acting like an adult, I'm missing out. It's time to bring back the 5-year-old. :)



And, finally... remember to have a New Year's Eve that makes everything you're giving up on the 1st worth it!:

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. -William Thomas

American History X

Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. -American History X

Christmas Playlist

Being Jewish means that I'm not so good with all of the Christmas songs. This is my list, mostly just songs I enjoy singing and a little bit of my cover love seeping through.

'Let it Snow' by Frank Sinatra
'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas' by Frank Sinatra
'White Christmas' by Frank Sinatra
'Happy Christmas (War is Over)' by John Lennon
'Happy Christmas (War is Over)' covers by Celine Dion and Acceptance (separately)
'Silent Night' by Bright Eyes
'You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch' by Jim Carrey
'Jingle Bell Rock' by Hillary Duff
'All I want for Christmas is You' by My Chemical Romance
'All I want for Christmas is You' by Mariah Carey
'Baby, It's Cold Outside' by Zooey Deschanel
'Baby, It's Cold Outside' by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald
'Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer' by Jack Johnson
'Winter Wonderland' by Jason Mraz
'Oi to the World' by No Doubt

Drew Barrymore Quote

Based on this quote:
Men build bridges. If they want to find your phone number or anything else, they will. They will build huge, massive bridges to get to you. Think Golden Gate! -Drew Barrymore

Boondock Saints

Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.
-Boondock Saints

Little Black Book quote

We write our own stories. And each time we think we know the end -- we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in the peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all. You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong. - Little Black Book

house quote

Our egos want us to think we're all snowflakes--no two alike. But, really, we all want the same things: love, forgiveness... chocolate.
-House

Who said you can't go home?

Tomorrow I leave for "home." The longer I spend away, the less it feels right to call it home. It's been about 5 months since the last time and I'm much more excited than I was then. One thing I always have a ton of trouble doing is packing. So below is my packing list!

TOILETRIES
- facewashing supplies
- make-up and brushes
- straightener/blowdryer/curler
- hair brushes
- hair balms, gels, mousses, etc.
- shower stuff (i bring my special conditioner home)
- glasses/contacts and supplies
- toothbrush
- razor/shaving cream
- deodorant
- pills
- hair ties, clips, etc.
- q-tips

CLOTHING
___ days of clothes
___ days of underwear
bras
work out clothes
pajamas
bathing suit
going out outfit (at least one)
nice outfit (at least one)
jackets

ACCESSORIES
shoes (flip flops, sneakers, heels, flats)
jewlery (earrings, watches/bracelets, necklaces)

ELECTRONICS
camera + charger + cord
computer + cord
ipod + cord

OTHER STUFF
journal
laundry (well, if you're going home)

TOP 25 ITUNES

So my bffl Grace did this about a week back... Top 25 played. For a while I used the same playlist every morning when I got ready for work/school and at night when I got ready to go out... so I think that accounts for most of these although some of them are quite surprising! I am pretty proud of the fact that only one band makes the list twice (although, it is Bright Eyes, so what exactly does that say about me?)

1. Hey Brittany! by Forever the Sickest Kids
2. Aside by The Weakerthans
3. The Places You Have come to Fear the Most by Dashboard Confessional
4. To Be With You by Mr. Big
5. A Whole New World from Aladdin
6. Revolution by Jim Sturgess (Across the Universe Soundtrack)
7. Attractive Today by Motion City Soundtrack
8. Radar by Britney Spears
9. Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship (ft. Leighton Meester)
10. After Tonight by Justin Nozuka
11. Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson
12. Every Thug Needs A Lady by Alkaline Trio
13. Dead Disco by Metric
14. Wake Up Alone by Amy Winehouse
15. First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes
16. James Dean by Daniel Bedingfield
17. The Sound of Settling by Death Cab for Cutie
18. O Yeah by End of Fashion
19. Dance Floor Anthem by Good Charlotte
20. Laughing at You by Head Automatica
21. That's What You Get by Paramore
22. Thrash Unreal by Against Me!
23. Take It Easy (Love Nothing) by Bright Eyes
24. The Suffering by Coheed and Cambria
25. Speakers Blown by Hit the Lights

What's your happy?

In Tally we have this really adorable car commercial based around the question: "What's your happy?" So I decided to make a list of my 5 happy songs: the ones that cheer me up no matter what and when they come on my shuffle, I honestly think that it's a sign from God.


5. Smile by Judy Garland


4. Beating Heart Baby by Head Automatica


3. Fireflies by Owl City

I know it's super new, and this makes me super trendy but the song makes me want to bounce up and down with a stupid grin on my face. I think it's because I remember growing up catching fireflies, or as we (and my favorite part of the song) called them "lightning bugs."

2. You Can't Hurry Love by Phil Collins


1. Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry

What I have always referred to as my 'happy song.'

5 GIFT IDEAS

1. For Mom and Dad
This year for the holiday season my parents and I are running a little low in the funds department. I asked a good friend of mine, Kayla, a photography student at Ringling to take 'professional' pictures of my brother and I. Of course, my mother wants it to be a complete cheeze-fest, but she also LOVED the idea and insisted that I get her and my dad each a frame and copy for their desks as well as for the house.

2. For Your Beau
An ex of mine was really in to music and was a novice guitar player. He was also incredibly sappy and loved homemade gifts. One Christmas, I ordered customized guitar picks with a picture of us on them. Another time, I bought him a guitar case and customized it by decoupaging pictures of his favorite bands and female stars (and his favorite picture of myself, of course). Neither was very expensive, but both were loved!

3. For Your Friends
Stockings aren't just for children. Draw your friends' names pretty with some glitter glue and fill them with favorites: A small picture frame with a picture of the two of you, candy (make a large batch of 'bark' and you can break them up in to small bags!) and of course, a shot of their favorite alcohol! (only if of age, of course!)

4. For Your Boss
Chocolate spoons in a nice coffee cup is the perfect appropriate, inexpensive and undeniably lovable gift for even the scroogiest!

5. For if You're Poor!
Me and my roommate didn't want to completely opt-out of the holiday season but are hard-hit by the 'recession' so we decided to kick it old school: Christmas Cards. A pack of pretty cards and stamps equal out to less than a dollar a person, but the love is still there.

5 Beautiful women and why they're on my wall...

If you walked in to my room, you might get the wrong idea about me. While I have no male 'hotties' lining my wall (minus my beau John Lennon) I do have multiple women. It's not because I'm gay (not that there's anything wrong with that... get it? get it?) but because each of these woman represent beauty in a different way. Of course, they're all nearly flawless, but it's something beneath the surface that really calls to me.


5. Natalie Portman

Why She's Beautiful: She's not afraid to be smart

Women tend to have a fear of putting everything on the plate too soon. But rather than hide our annoying habits or brooding jealousy we hide our intelligence. Natalie, though, attended Harvard while continuing to work. Oh, and she's not one of those starlets who buy their way in she got over 1400 on her SATs, putting her above George W. Bush, Al Gore, and yours truly. Her characters, even pregnant teen Novalee Nation in 2000's Where the Heart Is, have a keen awareness to the world that make them 'deep.'




4. Gwen Stefani

Why She's Beautiful: She's not afraid to be vulnerable

No Doubt's breakout hit album, 1995's Tragic Kingdom, was almost completely fueled by Stefani's break-up with bandmate Tony Kanal. This girl not only continued to work with her ex (from a 7-year relationship) but wrote about it and broadcasted it to him and the world. I use her as a reminder not to get to caught up in being a "STRONG WOMAN" and remember that we can be human, too.




3. Blake Lively

Why She's Beautiful: She's not afraid to rock it

I love this girl. She's gorgeous in a way that makes all women jealous. She exudes girl-next-door likability and a go-with-the-flow attitude. For use as an inspiration, though, I have to admire her confidence. She seems completely unfazed by the fact that she's so often gawked at. She seems to wear whatever she wants, and she looks amazing in it. Sure, it might be her amazing body, but I'd like to think at least some of it is attitude.




2. Lily Allen

Why She's Beautiful: She's not afraid to say what's on her mind/Make her own destiny

What does a young woman do when no one will listen? If you're Lily Allen, you make a myspace account and create your own following. It's easy to see why she's so loved: with her controversial, tongue-in-cheek lyrics she's not only lovable but real. I've learned that listening to her music is an amazing stand-in for girl talk with my best friends. Her ability to say what she's thinking and how she feels, without loosing classiness in the process, is incredibly inspiring for everyday life.


1. My Mother

Why She's Beautiful: She's My Reflection

I can be intense. Everyone I know can attest to that. My mother and I had a rocky relationship in middle and even most of high school. When I went away to college I really began to appreciate her. My mother grew up with a horrible home life and never had much. Her and my father have worked from nothing to produce a home, family, and two kids who couldn't (legitimately, anyways) ask for more. She's strong-willed and over-emotional. She's anxious and motivated. She's a wise-ass and clever. Mostly, I've learned that everything about who we are is a reflection on our parents. Talking to my mom, on a mother-daughter or friend-level, allows me to realize the things I love about her (and then appreciate in myself) and that things that frustrate me (which make me realize I may need to change as well). Out of all the inspirations I keep on my wall, and near my heart, my mother will always be number 1.

Some Gossip Girl logic

I WANT a Nate NEED a Chuck

and am completely unsurprised when even the Tripps end up bastards. ♥

and... my Gossip Girl video

5 Things that make me feel like an adult...

Thinking about how long it's been since I walked through the more-than-double doors of my high school always sends me for a trip. But lately, some things have really "hit home" in making me feel like an adult... and they're things I hope everyone experiences, no matter how different the timing is...

1. Cooking Thanksgiving
This year my parents decided to make the 7 hour trek to come visit me and I agreed to provide the food. The week before, I scoured allrecipes.com looking for the perfect dishes that I could turn in to my 'classics.' Days before, I went grocery shopping. Seems like an easy feat, but I actually had to google some of the vegetables my newfound classics called for. Hours before I ran around my house cleaning and ensuring that each piece of furniture was perfectly aligned. My dinner came out lovely, but I couldn't help but realize I was an 'adult' who had just had her parents come to her apartment to do 'Thanksgiving at my place!'.

2. My brother being accepted to college
I love my little brother more than anything in the world. At nearly 3 years a part, we've had our share of 'downs' (i.e. beating the crap out of each other) but had more 'ups' once we were both in high school (me, a cool senior, him, a new-meat freshman). When I went away to school, 'Buddy' (my childhood nickname for him) grew up. He's now over 6ft, has a man voice that still shocks me on the phone, and has a girlfriend that I love who he's a hopeless romantic for. I told him years ago that he'll always be about 8 years old to me, but seeing that he's making me so proud and growing up in to such a respectable man makes me feel old. And like I'll probably be the mother who can't let go.

3. Finishing My Resume
That's right, I'm half-way through my third year at FSU and I just finished my resume. It was a daunting task that I wasn't ready to face. But now I need an internship (paid) this summer and I can no longer let it sit on the back burner. I've always been someone who's "overinvolved" and "does too much," so I expected my resume to be long... but seeing the past written on paper really gives you a sense of time... and age.

4. Getting Rid of MORE Piercings
When I was younger, I wanted to be a little bit of a badass. When I was only a couple months old my parents got my ears pierced. When I was 12, I got my first cartlidge piercing. When I was 16, I got my belly button, which has been long gone due to crappy jewlery and sensitive skin. Somewhere since the beginning, I ended up with 10 individual holes in my ears, 3 in each lobe, 3 cartlidge and 1 tragus. When we were 17, Grace and I went to Europe after our senior year of highschool... I got my lip pierced, she got her first tatt. Later that summer, at midnight when I turned 18 I got my septum pierced. Both of those have sense gone, although I sometimes yearn for them back and recently contemplated a 'cute' nose stud. Recently, I've had trouble holding on to earrings (and been to poor to replace them), and as such have made a change. I now keep a modest cartlidge piercing on each ear, my second holes always have studs in them, and when I remember, I try to put something in my first holes. Getting rid of them, without any pleading from my parents, has made me feel less flashy but more adult.

5. Getting a 'Style'
In high school I was known for tank top and jeans. When I graduated, and lost weight, I knew this had to change. I have finally began to adopt a 'style,' so far that my friends see pieces (not colored wife-beaters) and know I'll love them. Today, I'm wearing a black long sleeve tucked into a high waisted forever-21 flower skirt, hot pink tights and black flats. It took a lot for me to confidently walk out of the house (I know I look damn cute, but I also feel a little silly sometimes) but taking chances with my clothing has created a better sense of 'identity'... something every grown-up needs.

Happy Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for this Thanksgiving?
TIME

... it heals all wounds, teaches all lessons, hears all prayers, searches all facets, appreciates beauty, friendship, family and love. It is the one constant, ever-changing thread through our lives that lets us know we are, in fact, living. And by stopping for a moment and appreciating 'time,' I hope I'll use my own better. Less to worry, and more to appreciate. Less anxiety and more love.

Happy Thanksgiving!